Greg Bird admits he considered quitting the game after he became engulfed in another rugby league scandal.
The renowned hard man's world plunged into uncertainty when he was charged with supply and possession of cocaine at the start of the season.
The scrutiny that followed sent the Gold Coast forward into a spiral, seeking a way out of the spotlight that was fixed firmly on him and his teammates.
"I thought about it," Bird said when asked if he wanted to walk away from rugby league.
"The media scrutiny and being under the spotlight, it gets frustrating, I guess. It could not be more negative. But I love rugby league and I love what it gives me. It gives me the ability to do it as a professional and I love going out and doing what I love as a job. At the end of the day, I take a hit, but life goes on.
"You can only take so much, but there's a little bit more left in me yet. If I can take any positives from any situation I'm put in, I do that. At the end of the day, if myself and my wife are happy together, I'm sure I'll be able to get through anything."
With the cocaine matter still in court, Bird was given the green light to return to rugby league after he was stood down from the opening games of the season.
However, his return would be short-lived, as he was slapped with an eight-game ban, which rubbed him out of the entire State of Origin series, for a dangerous tackle on Jason Nightingale.
Bird tried to get the charge downgraded, but his failed attempt meant he was suspended for eight weeks instead of six.
Bird admits he was bitter with the judiciary and has since been working to change his tackling technique. However, the veteran forward said it was a shame for rugby league that players are being encouraged to "cuddle and dance" when tackling.
"To my knowledge, I wouldn't think anyone would [deliberately] pick someone up and drop someone on their head," Bird said.
"A swinging arm, you could say there's a little intent about it. A dangerous throw, it's an accident. It's not something people do on purpose. We're not in the '70s and '80s any more.
"It's an accident. You lift a bloke and try to put him on his back, someone else comes in and off balances the tackle and he ends up going past the horizontal. You just can't hit through the hips and drive. You have to cuddle and dance, and a bit of the wrestle comes back into it.
"It's frustrating because when you look at rugby league, the lift and drive tackle is what you like to see as a spectator. They're just a high-risk tackle, similar to what the shoulder charge was. That was a high risk for reward, but when you put a good shot on, people like it. Now you make a lift, it's a good lift, people like it, but you go a bit wrong and you can be sitting on the sideline for eight weeks."
Bird had previously been warned about his tackling technique and will be working closely with Titans defensive coach Rohan Smith during his suspension to try to adjust his style.
"I've spoken to our defensive coach and over the next couple of weeks we're going to do a bit of work on what we can do to stop it from happening," Bird said.
"You're always focused on it to not bend your back, hit through the hips and lift. But when you get to 74 minutes through a game and fatigue kicks in, you go to what you've been doing for 20 years.
"I've been playing rugby league at this level for 14 or so years and I've only really had a problem with it since the Alex McKinnon incident. My tackle technique hasn't got worse, it's just highly scrutinised these days.
"I just have to work on it. It's going to be hard, like a cricketer changing from left hand to right hand, but it's going to have to happen and I'm sure I'll be able to adapt."
