Ever since I can remember, I've been a Carlton supporter.
The majority of our big Sicilian family docked in Melbourne during the post-war years, and most of them barracked for Carlton, so the Blues were my VFL team as a young kid.
My first memories of them were watching the heroes of the 1987 premiership era… the year my loyalty to Carlton was first severely tested. As an eight-year-old in Perth who read the back pages religiously with my cereal before school, the urge to resist the golden lure of the West Coast Eagles was like refusing Fruit Loops for my Corn Flakes. The surge of support in WA for "our new team" sent the whole state into 'Eaglemania' and flying high on the bandwagon - bus drivers, politicians, teachers and friends. I felt like an outcast who couldn't talk footy with anyone.
Glorious memories of times long gone.
But a family trip to Melbourne and visit to Princes Park with my cousins from the other side of the country to watch our old dark navy Blues reinforced a most-treasured allegiance. And loyalty was rewarded with a 1995 premiership, sweetened after enduring lonely days of isolation during the early 1990s, when West Coast soared to new heights (a regular headline on the back page).
And here we are now, 20 years after Carlton's last premiership... the turmoil has taken its toll and I cannot see through the rubble that has slowly and painfully piled up. Trust between club and fan has eroded.
Forget Mick (he doesn't need a last name these days), there were salary cap rorts, ruthless sackings (Brittain, Pagan and Ratten), lost millions, wasted trades and warring boards that wore me out… amid spin, smoke, arrogance and impatience from a once stable, family club.
I was prepared to wait until season's end to assess the club's direction before deciding on our future. But given the sad events of Tuesday and the fact Carlton couldn't wait, or handle the truth or ensuing PR war (sacking Mick because of his "public misalignment with the club"), the trust has dissipated and the disconnect complete.
Carlton itself has been off centre as a club for decades. When Collingwood was at the same depths as the Blues a decade ago, someone wise there said "the ox is slow but the earth is patient"... but the Pies had one critical difference - good leaders at all levels of the club, something the Blues have never had, ever since I can remember and, like Mick, my patience is now at an end.
If Carlton can break its oath to assess things at year's end and drop the blade now on Mick, then I'm pulling the trigger too. The Blues board couldn't handle the soap opera, so they hung the longest serving coach in AFL history out to dry – the absolute last straw.
My switch isn't about loyalty or abandonment; this massive move in allegiances has been building for a long, long time, as the Carlton hierarchy continued to hand their fans abuse as nonchalantly as a cappuccino on Lygon Street.
The silky - and smooth-domed - Mil Hanna
The fond memories will always remain; the stout skipper Stephen Kernahan, the ferocious David Rhys-Jones, the tenacious Peter Dean, the silky Mil Hanna, the dog Fraser Brown, the (wounded) warrior Brett Ratten, the rabbit Craig Bradley, the "Greek God" Koutoufides, "Diesel" Williams, SOS et al.
And while my heart is hurt, heavy and broken, it just no longer beats Blue... so what to do?
In 2000 I bought a Dockers membership because a good mate and Freo fan wanted a companion, and I've remained one ever since, feeling comfortable with the club's strong Italian links and watching footy with my mates, while boosting my natural disdain of the Eagles. Some seasons I could attend only a few games, others 10 or 11, but through the years I stayed true Blue, disgusting fellow Freo members by wearing a Carlton guernsey every time the team came to town.
So as I await the mid-season arrival of twins and an instant family, the time for change is now. I must move forward and forget the Blues, "the team that never lets you down", for the first time since I can remember.
But there's a purple haze sweeping the sky, from which a Freo family will be born.
