A little less then four years ago, back when Mick Malthouse was a reigning premiership coach rather than an unemployed one, I wrote a piece for this website entirely about booing.
Mostly I did it for a laugh. In pretty much every way, it was a celebration of the boo.
During the past couple of months I've largely stayed away from writing about Adam Goodes' situation. There are certain aspects of the arguments around it, where - to be really honest - I've not completely known where I stood (and maybe still don't know where I stand). Besides which, for any opinions I might have held, I figured there would be far smarter public voices.
Like this guy.
I'm not saying you boo Adam Goodes for racist reasons but when a bunch of racists are doing it too maybe stop.— Titus O'Reily (@TitusOReily)
July 26, 2015
That said, a colleague stumbled across my old booing yarn on Monday and I couldn't help re-reading it myself, accompanied as I went by an unexpected sense of nostalgia.
My original words of 2011 are reproduced below. Judging by the boo types I identified (and, perhaps more relevantly, the ones I didn't yet have to contemplate), I think it's fair to say that it was a more innocent time.
Oh, and I realise four years is an eternity in footy, so for anyone reading on who isn't familiar with the work of Jack Anthony, here's a quick summation: had one really good 50-goal year at Collingwood, moved to the Dockers as an expensive-ish pre-season draftee, ran around in a circle and fell over, left a year before his contract was up having already sewn up a place in the pantheon of all-time Freo recruiting misfires, last heard of auditioning for a gig with Mick Malthouse (back when Mick still had a gig himself).
The following was published on WAtoday.com.au on August 29, 2011:
Jack Anthony got the ball and the crowd started booing. Only, I couldn't work out which set of supporters was doing it.
Was it the Collingwood fans, angry that he'd left the club at the end of last season?
Was it the Dockers fans, upset that Anthony had been, to date, such a dud recruit?
Or was it, as one colleague suggested, a spattering of Subiaco fans, aggrieved at some of Anthony's more limp performances for the Lions in the WAFL?
Anthony actually had a pretty good game on Friday night. He racked up 16 disposals, seven marks and 22 post-match hugs with Collingwood players (including, oddly, Andrew Krakouer, who hadn't yet joined Collingwood when Anthony left).
But the boos directed at Anthony got me thinking – about both the actual art of booing and the psychology behind it.
Jack Anthony in action for Fremantle against Collingwood.
Clearly, booing has a long history (apparently it was first documented in Greece in the 6th century BC) and transcends all languages and cultures. I'd imagine you could go to a soccer game in Siberia and let out a "booooooooooooo" and everyone would know exactly what you were doing (you might not make it home alive but that's neither here nor there).
"Boo" is also one of those words that has evolved in a "physical" sense. Like "subtle", it pretty much has a silent "B". I'll leave the irony in that for readers to dwell on but as long as you can purse your lips and make a deep-ish "oooooooo" sound, people are going to get what you are on about.
More than that, it's now actually quite acceptable to drop all the "O"s as well. A loud guttural groan at an unfavourable decision/incident is enough to get your point across. Chewbacca, I imagine, would have been one hell of booer.
In the AFL, I reckon there are 11 distinct types of boo.
1. The used-to -play-for-us-but-now-you're-on-the-other-team boo – self explanatory. Simply by swapping to a different jumper, a player invites the crowd to express hatred of him. Anthony struggled for a game at Collingwood but Pies fans appear happy to boo him for seeking job opportunities elsewhere. Jerry Seinfield has a great take on this which you can check out by clicking here.
2. The goalsneak boo – being quick, small and able to crumb, tackle and kick goals is like wearing a sign saying "boo me." Even Phil Matera, a bloke who really just seemed to mind his own business, used to cop it. If you can be a niggling type as well – think Stephen Milne, Jeff Farmer and Hayden Ballantyne – it's like jacking a sub-woofer into the boo machine.
3. The purely jealous boo – one of my personal favourites. You're a decent human being and great player and my team can't physically stop you. But maybe a weird noise summoned from the depths of my throat can do the job. PS I wish you played for my team. See Chris Judd and Adam Goodes.
4. The jealous boo with a twist – You're a great player but no-one seems to know this better than you. PS I wish you played for my team. PPS I hate you. See Nathan "FIGJAM" Buckley.
5. The you're a thug boo – A bit like the bad guy in a wrestling bout, some players are born to fill this role. You'd happily boo these guys from a crowded grandstand 100 metres away but would probably forget to do it if you ran into them in a deserted alley. Think Dermott Brereton and Barry Hall.
6. The you-just-became-a-thug boo – One of our players is lying on the ground injured. I didn't see how it happened. But someone must be to blame. Oh, that will be you, the opposition player standing next to him.
7. The I-don't-know-why-I'm-booing-but-everyone-else-is-so-I-may-as-well-do-it-too boo – AKA The sheep boo. Not to be confused with the sheep "baaa." A good example of this was the reaction of West Coast fans to Essendon's Jobe Watson a fortnight ago. A bleeding and concussed Watson was booed for having the temerity to go and get the football and then have Beau Waters' shoulder collect him in the head.***
8. The white-maggot boo – dates back to the days before umpires were put up for further ridicule by being made to wear lime, tangerine and other assorted fruits. The basic gist of it goes something like this: you stuffed up that decision against us, so perhaps a bit of vocal persuasion will help you stuff up the next one in our favour. Scientific studies have proved this actually works.
9. The no-logic white-maggot boo – a variation on the above in which the umpire didn't make the wrong decision at all but actually cops it for being right. Same psychological principle applies.
10. The you're-a-disgrace-to-the-jumper boo – a cannibalistic boo seldom heard in the AFL but more common at soccer games. Usually reserved for the team's whipping boy, Don't Kick It To Him or unsuccessful coaches. Right now, thanks to Essendon fans, it could probably be called the Brent Stanton boo.
11. The don't-go-Mr Whippy boo – a new phenomenon, which I only discovered at my sister's football game yesterday. As the man on the microphone announced that the Mr Whippy van would leave the ground after half-time, there was a chorus of boos. No word on how many booers actually then went and bought an ice cream.
So who would be the most booed player in today's AFL? And what about of all time?
You'd have to think Milne would top the current charts. Far safer, cheaper and more responsible to boo him than call him a name (just ask Mick Malthouse).
Historically it's harder to pick. But in my lifetime, I'm thinking some of the leading contenders might be Brereton, Tony Liberatore, Gary Ablett snr, Robert DiPierdomenico, Chris Lewis, Nicky Winmar, Warwick Capper, Mark Jackson, Jason Akermanis and, for a smokey Billy Duckworth.
You could actually build a pretty darn good All-boo team.
So why do we boo? My theory is that it's for the sake of convenience.
Unless you have a Dennis Cometti-like vault of one-liners it's going to be pretty hard to come up with an on-the-spot witticism to yell at an opposing player or umpire. Plus, chances are he won't be able to make out what you say anyway.
If, however, we can all band together and make the same dirge-like sound at the same time, he might just get the message.
Booooooootiful.
*** It has now been brought to my attention that the West Coast fans may have been booing an umpire rather than Watson. I'm still claiming it was a sheep boo, as it was clearly a free kick and, on first glance, could easily have been mistaken for a reportable offence.
