While her husband is flying in, flying out (FIFO), Pamela Crane, 45, of Capalaba has turned her knowledge about maintaining a healthy Fifo relationship into a business to support families in the same situation.
Ms Crane has teamed up with Kirsty O’Callaghan of North Lakes to help families navigate through what she describes as the “minefield of FIFO life”. Married for 27 years with three children, Ms Crane’s husband has spent the last 10 years travelling all over Queensland as an electrician’s trade assistant. In that role, he is away for 11 days and home for three.
“It is too easy to become a flat mate instead of a soul mate. Communication is hard and the relationship is often time poor. When he comes home, I am not the only one who wants to spend time with him. This is a time to see the children, extended family, friends, do tasks and have his own downtime.
“It’s about time management. You don’t have time to sit down and have those long conversations. It’s often difficult to keep a relationship strong when you don’t see each other every day. Often partners in FIFO positions are in isolated places where communication is hard
Ms Crane said couples in FIFO were often stressed and relationships were pushed to breaking point.
“Many are struggling. We aim to identify what is not working and help couples to strengthen their relationships,” Ms Crane said.
Ms Crane has done studies in Love Works, an online American course on love and romance while Ms O’Callaghan has written a book about the topic. Together they make a formidable team in helping families to deal with mental, emotional and physical health issues and parenting problems, combining 19 years of being FIFO wives.
They have combined professional expertise and knowledge to host upcoming free webinars to provide solutions to get FIFO families back on track so they can survive and thrive in this life/work choice. The first of three webinars is Be Relaxed and Calm in the FIFO Madness and Go From Dirty Dishes to Dirty Dancing.
As the founder of FIFO Love, Ms Crane said she wanted to reignite her clients’ ‘fading flirtatious sparkle’ and teach them to have a passionate, fun and healthy relationship even while physically apart.
“Keeping the sparkle alive in any relationship is hard but once you add the distance it can make it even harder to stay connected. Add in the depression, the kids, the overwhelming endless responsibilities of running the household then it really can be a recipe for disaster.
“Another common issue I see in clients is a sense of losing oneself. However keeping that loving connection alive is a great way to keep up your self confidence whether your partner is home or not,” she said.
Ms Crane said her alliance with Kirsty was an unexpected surprise.
“I know from personal experience and from working with my clients that there are ways to harness the distance to keep your love alive and to make FIFO a cheeky, fun part of your relationship. It’s wonderful to be working with Kirsty to share this message.”
As the owner of Unity Words, Resilience and Relationship Expert, Ms O’Callaghan said she had been in the unique position over the last 20 years to supporting FIFO clients, and those separated by a work choice.
“Over and over the issues were the same. There was a common thread of uncertainty, change and judgment through each FIFO story I heard. It became clear to me that letting my clients know they weren’t alone was vital to normalising their experience.
“It was cathartic for me as well. I knew it wasn’t just my family that was experiencing struggles and unexpected happenings, especially in the initial stages of our FIFO life,” Ms O’Callaghan said.
The stories prompted Ms O’Callaghan to publish her book, Separated by Work, meeting Pam at her book launch.
The first webinar will run on at noon on September 5 and 7.30pm on September 7.
Book on http://fifolove.com.au/free-fifo-webinars/, 0401 325 395, pam@fifolove.com.au
