Nothing brings out the sunshine in viewers' hearts like the fabled AFL grand final entertainment. Said nobody ever who wasn't an AFL executive, or Meat Loaf's bank manager, but still, you never know your luck.
Hey, here's Mike Brady again!
Reaching deep into the labyrinth of his considerable repertoire, Mike pulled out his other hit, One Day in September, which, in a burst of creative inspiration, was retitled One Day in October for the occasion.
In fairness, he still sounded exactly like Mike Brady, and everybody got a one-season holiday from Up There, Cazaly.
Next down the chute was Harry Happy, err, Vance Joy who didn't miss a single nasal cavity in honking Fire and the Flood, a folksy wet-end of a ditty that eventually concluded in the fullness of time.
He fared better with his breakthrough number Riptide – the one with the ukulele, and the tune, and the shifts in pace and to falsetto, and stopping all stations to Frankston. Hard luck that Grace VanderWaal came along on America's Got Talent and pretty much shut down the franchise on this routine.
The Living End took to the stage dressed like the groom's party at a bush wedding, and launched into Keep On Running, which made twin critical errors of not being the Spencer Davis Group song of that name, and being dull in two different tempos.
Whereas Prisoner of Society might have been nominally punk rock via The Angels route only, but it banged along just fine. Upbeat rock on a major sporting event day – there's an idea.
This left Sting, CBE, your actual Super Bowl-level star on grand final day, which probably means the world's about to end now. Apparently he cost so much they had to use the leftover stage clothes from Bryan Adams and band last year.
The Stingster threw in the one that nobody knew, which was no worse than harmless, plus the mandatory couple of efficiently delivered Police songs, Message on the Moon and Every Bottle You Take. He didn't look a day over 50, which was plain mean to regular human viewers, given that he turns 65 today.
In conclusion, Sting clearly stated:
"Avabava, bavvedy-gabbaver, favvernavver, BAAAHH!!"
Nobody has yet translated this into English.
After that, Linda and Vika Bull came out and totally, utterly, nailed the anthem, dude. So that was good.
Next year: Mike Brady and friends.
