During his stint in the NSW Cup, Curtis Sironen lost not only his love of the game but belief in himself.
While he never contemplated walking away from football altogether, making his last appearances for Wests Tigers in the lower grade did nothing for his confidence.
"I definitely questioned my ability – whether I am good enough," Sironen said.
"You start doing that and you're in all sorts. Confidence is massive and if I'm questioning whether I'm good enough to go at it with the big boys, I wasn't feeling too crash hot and it showed how I was playing in those reserve grade games as well. Probably lack of involvement and things like that. It's not the sort of footy player I know I can be and now I have a few people to prove wrong I think."
Sironen is the son of a gun, Tigers legend Paul Sironen. There were high hopes the younger Sironen would also carve out a great career in the black and gold, but his form plateaued and then dipped.
His move to Manly could not have come at a better time.
"I thought I wasn't getting any better as a player and a lot of that's got to do with myself," he said.
"I take responsibility for a lot of those things, complacency and all that stuff, but the chance to play first grade here and challenge myself again and get that hunger back and really enjoy coming to training and playing more so than being a chore.
"Just having fun again is one of the biggest things. There was a couple of games there last year when I was going to reserve grade games when I didn't even want to play and I thought to myself 'there's something wrong here, this isn't the feeling I've had since I was a little boy'. Just getting that hunger back, just as a person I'm so much more relaxed and happier now and hopefully it shows with how I perform this year."
Sironen's trial form has been impressive and he is a strong chance of breaking into the Sea Eagles side for the blockbuster opening clash with Parramatta. The back-rower has a new lease on life after being released from the last two years of his Tigers contract.
"I don't have any regrets," he said. "Or maybe only that when I first cracked it I was working that hard to earn a spot that I maybe wasn't doing it as much any more.
"I was a bit disappointed how it finished to be honest, but I don't look back now, I'm happy to be here and just going to try and play good footy for Manly."
There is still a family connection to the Tigers. Sironen's younger brother, Bailey, is on the joint-venture outfit's roster, while father Paul also has a role with the club.
"Obviously, my old man and Bailey's still there, too, but hopefully he thrives now I'm not there as well sort of casting a little shadow," he said.
"I didn't know any different there at the Tiges, so it was always going to be a bit weird coming here and putting on different colours and driving over this way every day, but I haven't looked back."
