A sudden interest in offal

My husband has recently developed a penchant for offal.

I suspect he first started eyeing off eyes and thinking about brains and straining to reach kidneys just to be perverse, knowing I don't have the stomach for any of his tripe (all puns intended).

He calls it offal. I call it awful.

He's been taunting me with talks of haggis and liver and bacon pie for a while. My only recourse is to shrug the shoulder of indifference. His is to take his offal to the next step.

The first step was placing his offal purchases strategically in the fridge or freezer. There some chicken livers, here a box of brains.

But what goes in the freezer eventually ends up on the plate. It wasn't long before those little lumpy things that allegedly help our thought processes had migrated to another area and, indeed, were thawing quite nicely thankyou, on top of a pork chop destined for my dinner plate.

I asked him to move the brains and in so doing, gave him the reaction he had been waiting for. Thankfully, no chops were harmed in his delight at my upset.

I ate my lone chop before leaving for choir practice while he did a quick magic act which involved juggling brains, allegedly crumbing them at the same time. I left early, hoping that both stomach and my mental state would remain calm.

I blame the cooking shows.

My husband could spend all day in front of a cooking show, noting the cooking strategies, speaking aloud to the presenter, sniffing the imaginary cooking smells,visualising the textures and flavours as if he and the chef were in the same room.

He has long lamented the price demise of the cheaper cut of meat which now match the prices of the superior cuts. He blames this on those same shows he enjoys so much, shows in which wizards in the kitchen spend time with slow cookers and various marinades, all the better to tenderise and sweeten these once-cheap ingredients.

But not everyone is convinced that a bit of chuck steak is as good to cook with as a filet. And certainly the potential for offal hasn't quite hit the mark, leaving it as one of the few remaining cheaper meal alternatives.

It seems to satisfy the budget and the palate you have to resort to liver and bacon. Getting a rise from me seems to simply be the bonus.