Now, laying my cards on the table, I openly admit that what I'm about to say is not based on deep scientific research.
It's probably a bit closer to the scientific insights of Donald Trump than it is to the contributions of Stephen Hawking.
And it is true that my study of the human condition is largely based on observations I have made while waiting in line at the Coles checkout.
But nevertheless, I put it to you, confident in the expectation that about half of the world's population will nod in agreement.
Have you ever noticed how many attractive, intelligent and industrious women have managed to attach themselves to appallingly unattractive, unintelligent lazy-arsed drongo men?
Oh, did I really need to point it out? Just walk outside and see for yourself.
My girlfriend says I don't even need to walk outside.
What does she mean by that?
Yes, it's true these thoughts which have been percolating on the hot plate of my mind for some time have been brought into rather sharp focus since the Premier of NSW confessed she had "stuffed up her personal life".
Gladys, take solace in the fact that you are not alone.
For God's sake Gladys, you could have done better.
I mean let's take a vote.
Raise your hand if you too have "stuffed up your personal life".
Look at that! Three hundred and seventy one women and six men, and that's just in one Coles supermarket.
If the Premier survives her nightmare, this could be the basis of a strong re-election campaign.
"I'm good in a fire, not bad in a pandemic, but "stuffed" when it comes to men."
That would really resonate with the electorate. It would give her the human touch that would separate her from her political rivals. All good and well. But what causes this female myopia?
What primal urge, what suicidal reflex drives otherwise perceptive and engaging women to hook up with knuckleheads and shifty real estate deal makers?
It's beyond me. Do they have a snappy line of patter that at the crucial moment masks their CV of failings and general awfulness?
It can't be good for the evolution of the species.
Are interesting, attractive men so hard to find?
And so I find myself echoing every father's frustrated cry:
For God's sake Gladys, you could have done better.
Actually, you deserved better.
