Doing the D on the phone

I am not sure whether this particular member of the family was happy about the name when the information was leaked to him, but his particular habit has dropped to the bottom of the list.

He has been topped by yours truly and at least two of his siblings.

I am thinking of renaming it.

I refer here to the habit of having prolonged conversations (blue tooth of course) with people while in the car, either as a passenger or driver. I get it. For my children, chatting with Mum is very much about using their travel time to catch up, but also to alleviate the monotony of the long drive to work.

Not that chatting with me is all that intoxicating. Do they really need a new bit of advice or discover what might be on special at Woolies this week on their way to work? Clearly, their drive must be very dull in order to cope with this alternative.

I am particularly unhappy when my daughter chats. Hers is a facetime call and although she assures me she doesn’t look at me and remains vigilant on the road, hers is a busy German freeway and I do not wish to have my day ruined with swear words in a gutteral language. Her day may be just beginning, but mine is heading to that chilled part of the day (she always chats about 4pm just before starting work that same day).

Of course, the veritable cat is in the cradle here, with the habits of the children infecting the habits of the parent. Now when I speak to my own mother, her first question is “Are you in the car?” I realise she sees the backstreets of Alexandra Hills in the same fearful way I view the highways of Berlin, even though I’m usually a passenger.

A bit of shouting has to go on when I phone her (she is approaching 90) and I don’t think she is getting much of the conversation anyway.  The call is usually short, but not without her own input which usually includes (ironically) details about this week’s Woolies specials and plenty of advice on almost everything. I may be heading towards my own zero birthday, but my mother still sees me as age six without the zero.

Note: It is illegal to touch a mobile phone while driving.